almost goodbye

I just refused, yet again, to transfer into another department at Allstate, having been a temp there since August.  I came back by their request to help through another transitional period and that period is ending.  I’m back to feeling excited while somewhat irresponsible for not taking the first thing offered.  

& yet when I started to beat myself up last year for being irresponsible- for volunteering a couple times a week but not looking for full time, or even part time work- that volunteer work sealed the deal on the perfect job for that season.  

So I went back to reread my post about the cul-de-sac and when to quit (Dec 2011), written on my last day last time I was leaving Allstate & of course I have to go searching for the one about leaving there the first time (Dec 2008) & I find “I gotcha” (July 2012) that tells story after story about learning to trust a God I can’t see; it’s a post about knowing that presenting my experiences as reasons to trust the ‘god nobody knows‘ might upset many- or just cause you to roll your eyes- but I have to.  

I’ve always been hard on myself but I’ve also been extremely naive and vulnerable and lets just say its obvious Dad’s got my back. & I know that pisses some of you off because after 1000+ words I still haven’t offered any rational hope or reason to believe its not coincidental, too experiential to count but even facts are experientially based. My reading leads to a different set of authors presenting a different set of facts, leading to a different set of conclusions than you might come across.  These the facts I’ve been presented with.

 

I have a couple more days- probably one or two a week for another week or two and as always, I have no concrete plan, but I know it’ll be good.  I, for one, am excited.  Let it roll

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