all in good [clean?] fun

Apparently I am now a member of an all girl death metal band called Sweaty Melons.

If we were still 16 and 17, my rocker bro would be proud.

sm4

They wanted to put me on percussion, but I can’t keep a beat to save my life.  So I let on that I did just buy an electric cello…

Hell yeah!

sweaty melons

It’s all in good somewhat clean fun, right?  Doesn’t hurt to daydream a little bit.

sm2.  Ham it up- be a stunning Gooch instead of

lovely eyes

stubbornly defensive when told that that dress is really not that flattering.

sm3

Live it up- why not?

Yesterday afternoon at work I was really starting to sink into a dangerous mix of cynicism, disgust, anger and indifference about the filth around me.

Yes I was in a kitchen immaculating a fryer (draining the oil into a strainer and pumping it back in) and yes my stained khakis and zoo shirt were a far cry from the cute black and white blouse, dark jeans, and platform heels I wore to my other job that morning.  There was no flower in my hair, but that uneasy feeling was so much more than weariness and longing for a shower.

I almost wanted someone to ask me what was up but I couldn’t trust myself to speak.  No I’m not ok and I don’t really know why but I have more of an idea than you could possibly understand and yeah I’ll be fine.

It’s complicated.

How could I explain that sometimes I’m offended by filthy language and sometimes I let out a word or two myself when alone in the cooler.

things that should not be.

Flashbacks of just being heartbroken over some of the things I’ve heard out of kids mouths and that KidsBop CD I should have refused to allow in my car and the “Party Like a Rockstar” song sung by a group of eight-year-olds.

This refrain is not new.

Swallowing a pizza whole after eating super healthy for a couple months is bound to make ya sick and how could I explain that the conversation combined with the physical filth and the nervous/ excited anticipation about spending that night at a bar was making me ill.

In the world but not of it- I can be fun sober- is that where to draw the line or does song content matter.  Exercise my own freedom but if it might cause a friend to stumble it’s not worth it.

Well everything shows up online within seconds these days.

karaokeGood clean fun.

this particular song had (almost) nothing to do with the f bomb or transvestites or how good it feels to be bad.

but I clapped and cheered for my friends when songs came up that did.

It was a blast- I think we laughed more when we were all drinking water than when harder stuff started coming out.  Perfectly timed references to the play made me feel more a part of a group than I have in a long while.  I wasn’t just an add-on.  “You’ll never feel like you belong until you’re among the people of God”- this week’s sermon.

& I’ll never stop struggling with what it means to be holy in a sinful world.

Advertisements